nobody has to know•the evidence disappears•case closed•you were never here•plausible deniability bottled•nobody has to know•the evidence disappears•case closed•you were never here•plausible deniability bottled•

☢ Coming Soon — Join The Cover-Up

FARTIE

— Your Alibi —

A pocket-sized odor neutralizer for humans
with digestive opinions.
Spray. Disappear. Alibi secured.

☢ Join The Witness Protection Program

early access · founding member discount · no spam · ever

247 fugitives already on the list

// the problem

YOUR BODY IS HUMAN.
YOUR SECRET DOESN'T HAVE TO BE.

hot yogafront row.
elevatorno escape.
job interviewhigh stakes.
first dateromantic dinner.
board meetingall eyes on you.
grocery linenowhere to run.
small bottle•big cover-up•no witnesses•small bottle•big cover-up•no witnesses•small bottle•big cover-up•no witnesses•
// the cover-up

THREE STEPS.
ZERO EVIDENCE.

01

POCKET IT

Fits in any pocket, bag, or sleeve. Always armed. Always ready.

02

SPRAY IT

One discreet spray. Odor neutralized at the molecular level.

03

DENY IT

Walk away. Look innocent. The evidence? Gone.

WE DON'T TALK
ABOUT IT.
WE JUST
HANDLE IT.

for IBS warriors · elevator survivors
first date champions · human beings

GET EARLY ACCESS

founding member pricing · first to know · exclusive drop

☢ Join The Witness Protection Program

no spam · ever · case closed

The Elements
of Style

Collection title 5 Collection title 5 Collection title 5 Collection title 5

Product title

$19.99
$19.99

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Premium materials and
hand-selected finishing touches

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A size for every occasion

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